Avoid the Instinctive Drive to Verify™

If you AVOID the Instinctive Drive to Verify™, you…

…will need	…have the talent to
Unconditional encouragement. Unconditional acceptance - this includes listening to you without trying to solve your problems, i.e. accept that you do not automatically require improvement or solutions. A foregoing reputation to eliminate the need for justification - this includes fame, profile, qualifications, image, etc. To get it right the first time. Conciseness and synopses. An environment where everybody's contribution is regarded as vital even though there may be obvious distinctions according to title, experience, remuneration, etc. Answers.	Not need to have reasons, a purpose or understanding to take action. Give unconditional encouragement and acceptance, including listening without advising. Look at things on their own merits, not blocked by past experience or comparisons. Move on quickly - don't hold grudges or get "bogged down" in detail. Naturally trust. Encourage answers from others. Treat everything equally and don't segregate. Communicate concisely. Give unilateral support.
…are vulnerable to	…have stress triggered by
Losing posture when caused to justify. Being indiscriminate with time and people, which can lead to conflict and inefficiency. Being non-confrontational. Assuming and being very trusting, often appearing naive. Appearing superficial and half-hearted due to your conciseness. Not seeing problems until they are significant or inescapable.	Being interrogated or questioned about your intent or reason for doing something. Others not trusting their sense of knowing. Not knowing THE answer - needing to think, justify or rationalise to find the answer. Being judged or assessed and second guessed (no trust or unconditional encouragement).

If you AVOID the Instinctive Drive to Verify you may recognize this…

You've just come back to work after the holiday of a lifetime. You visited 8 countries in 8 weeks, you danced at the Rio Carnival and you ran with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, you ate at some of the most famous restaurants and watched spectacular sunsets. You swam with humpback whales and lay on white sandy beaches, you met wonderful people and just had a magic time. You are super excited about it all and someone asks you the ultimate question… "What was your favourite experience?" All of a sudden your mind goes blank. You don't see things as favourite; to you the holiday was a complete connected unit. Although they were a series of individual events and experiences they can't be prioritised or judged by you. You don't see life in those terms and when you're pressed - probably by a Verify who does see life in those terms - you feel compromised and pressured to provide an answer that is not actually authentic for you. So you might end up feeling pressured and say, "OK, OK the pyramids were amazing." And they might have been but for you everything was amazing and as soon as someone tries to get you to prioritise and grade your experiences the magic can start to drain away. So you may have started the conversation feeling so excited about your holiday and then moments later leaving the conversation feeling silly and inadequate for not being able to pinpoint your "favourite" moment. After all if it was that good shouldn't you remember the really good bits? But you can't.

This can seem really strange to a Verify because they then assume it couldn't have been that great if there were no standout moments. But there probably were standout moments just the Avoid Verify doesn't judge them like that. You are surprised by the constant judgments of better or worse, good and bad that find their way into every facet of a Verify's conversation. You feel exhausted… life just is, there isn't necessarily best or better, to you things are just the way they are. If this sounds familiar then chances are you're an Avoid Verify who has just had a close encounter with a Verify.

It's not that you're not interested in life you're just more interested in living it than categorizing it! If you are driven to avoid the Instinct to Verify you just don't think in terms of comparison, or favourites. When something happens, instead of analysing or criticizing it, there is straight out acceptance. What will be will be.